Coming Out - An Imagined Conversation With Owen
Owen: Mom, can I talk to you?
Me: Of course Owie. Always.
Owen: Well, you know how you always make jokes in your blog about me being gay?
Me: Well, I, yes?
Owen: Well, I have something to tell you.
Me: ( I have been anticipating this moment for years) Owen, no matter what I love you and I am proud to be your mother.
Owen: Good, because I'm not gay.
Me: You're not?
Owen: No. I like girls.
Me: You do?
Owen: Yes. And what I have to tell you is really hard to say.
Me: What is it Owen?
Owen: Ok, here it goes...I like girls with really big boobs.
Me: Is that it?
Owen: No. I also like it when they have daddy issues.
Me: Oh. Oh my god.
Owen: And if they are kind of stupid, even better.
Me: ( Flabbergasted) We can find you a program. There are centers for this. They can cure you of this.
Owen: This is just who I am.
Me: (turning very cold) Get out.
Owen: But mom.
Me: Get out of my house.
Owen: But mom.
Let's hope he is gay.